So I was packing up my room and found this buried deep in my sock drawer… I did have dreams of swimming around in a pool in France, or paddling in the sea. But my recent fears of my white, white, snow, paper, raw chicken paleness could prevent this. Coupled with THIS, pictured below, i really don’t think the coupling of pale skin and anything that would show a lot of pale skin and is going to work.

Yes, it screams, “Don’t try!!!” doesn’t it. Especially amidst a population of beautifully tanned, delicate, French girls who have that natual glow/pretty thing. Like this…

Unless I fill a vat with brown tanning oil and heedlessly fling myself into it and then sculpt myself a prominent rib cage, pelvic bone outlines and all the rest of it, I really stand very little chance, as you’ll see, here’s a picture of me taken this morning:

(lol!)

But all is not lost. Being mildly satisfied with my God given bodily upper half, I may venture with the above upper piece of the set and couple with it shorts. Maybe blue ones. So that is a possibility. There might be an empty beach where this could be experimented. Or, my final Plan C is this happy, most likely, option…

A stylish, giant, body swamping, suit! The face on this guy looks like he’s really enjoying  it too.